I have been so blessed, and have had the opportunity to see and experience so many things, meet some of the most inspiring and amazing people, all from different backgrounds, and be part of some really cool things. But no one has had the impact that my mother has had on me. The lessons I learnt from her as a child have carried me through in my career, ministry, business, relationship, friendships and so much more. So many principles have been engraved in me and have made me who I am today. For Mother's Day, I wanted to share some of these lessons with you. Trust me when I say - they echo into EVERY part of life. I believe in sharing and passing down valuable things, especially wisdom, 'golden nuggets' and advice; so I pass some of these onto you, from my mom, in hopes that you, too, would be inspired and gain some wisdom.
1. Whatever you do, do it diligently and well!
My mom taught me that short-cuts are not always the answer. Taking time to do a job properly will bring forth a greater reward and healthier fruit. Doing things the right way also give you integrity, something solid that you can build on. Don't take the short-cuts! Obey and honour who you need to; because it's the right thing to do. And God, who sees your hard work, will reward you.
2. Do not envy what others have. Use what you have in your hands.
This concept invested so much into the creative person that I have become. She always told me not to focus on what I do not have, and make something of what I DO have. There’s so much you can do with what you already have. My mom could make anything out of anything. I find myself being good at problem-solving and critical thinking because of how my mother raised me. To think, and create. This principle is the reason for my analytical and creative skills. Ha! I have always admired how good she is with her hands as well as her brilliant mind. She can make things out of nothing.
3. Stand up for yourself, don’t let people push you around.
Right is right, and wrong is wrong. There is no 'in between'. And sometimes, people need to be taught how to treat you. She taught me how to set boundaries; that it is okay to say 'no', and stand up for yourself if you do not agree with something. I was always very vocal as a child (I still am, guess where I got it from! Lol!) - my mom is never afraid to speak her mind. But she does so with so much grace and class. And she teaches you while she's at it. When she concludes the conversation, she will make sure you understand EXACTLY what the issue was, and give space to respond. All with love and grace. She is a natural leader.
4. Don’t wait for things to be done for you. Go do it yourself.
There isn't one person on this planet who got to where they are on their own. Everyone gets help somewhere on their journey, from many people. Whether big or small. But one thing my mom taught me, although it is true that we need each other, my identity and self-esteem should not be rooted in what people can or cannot do for me. She always taught me that, if I wanted something done, I should do it and not wait for the approval of others. If God happens to send someone or some people to help while you are at work, take the help. But stay focused on your goal. Be the first to lead the vision you see, if others see it and join you, great! But if they don't, keep going.
5. Never giving up - no matter how many times you fall.
I was never allowed to say "I can't". No matter how hard something was. She would always say that "I can't" is the start of failure; and if I said it, I will start believing that I can't. She taught me resilience. Whether things looked the way I wanted it to or not. Don't ever give up, and don't ever stop. Always show up and be present. Be in the room, because you never know who or what will be there that is specifically for you.
6. Always showing up for others and not expecting anything in return
When I was little, I never understood why my mom went to every stranger's funeral, wedding (even if she was not invited, she would go help with the cooking), visited those who were in mourning, hosted gatherings, went to events of people she didn't even know of at the time; and why she supported people who did not do the same for her. But now I do. I understand what it means to show up for people. That's what Jesus did.
She still tells me today: 'When someone has something going on in their life, be there for them, no matter what. Go comfort those who need comforting, and go celebrate those who are being celebrated." It is so important to show up for others, there is actually nothing more gratifying. Lend a helping hand, and show up for friends, and for strangers.
7. Generosity.
This one is one of my favourites. It's my favourite because I love giving and blessing those around me. It makes me so happy. When we were little, my mom would always say: "Even if you have only a little, share what you do have. Never let others go hungry or lack. If you have something, give. No matter how small or little you have.” She taught me that, having 'a little' should not be an excuse to not be a blessing to your neighbour. "You are not stingy' she would say. "Trust that God will provide for you. So you can keep giving to your neighbour."
8. Being in church community.
She never let us stay at home. Though she let us develop our own relationship with God, she never let us be outside of church community. No matter how we felt or what went on during the week. Church was a non-negotiable. It still is. I never miss church, and this is something that I want to make sure my children understand, too. Be planted in church, serve God and be in community. I love the scripture in Joshua 24:15: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord". She made sure of it.
9. Forgiveness
I remember how confusing and difficult this concept was for me, and how she broke it down so that my heart could understand its importance. I remember one day, in a rare conversation, I told her that my heart felt too hardened to forgive. She shared a prayer with me that I will never forget. She said to me: "Speak to your heart. Tell your heart to submit and open up. Speak life over your heart and tell it that it WILL be obedient." I prayed that prayer everyday- "Heart, you are obedient, you are submissive, you will forgive." It has stayed with me all these years, so much that I share it with people who are on their journey of forgiveness and healing. If that's you, know that your mind and heart aren't strong enough to resist the Name of Jesus- the Name that brings hope, freedom and restoration. Pray for your heart, tell it to submit, and ask God to help you.
10. Finances
Okay, my mom is a BEAST when it comes to finances. Her family nicknamed her 'the Minister of Finance'. We would tease her and laugh sometimes, but the way she stewards finances is something to be admired. I have seen this for years. She showed us how to save, invest and how to steward our finances so well. I’m so glad she did this. With owning businesses and an organization now, I feel so blessed that I’ve had financial principles instilled in me to enable me to lead my teams well. I’m grateful that I had the right foundation as a kid. She would always say "Don't be so quick to spend. Buy what is necessary, save the rest." Of course we were allowed a treat, but she made sure we understood that money shouldn't be spent recklessly. Think about what you buy. Think about how you use and spend money.
11. Tithes and offering - this, too, was a non-negotiable. Whenever we would have bake sales at school, I’d come home with money and my mom’s first reaction was to make me “calculate ten percent to tithe”. She would always give us coins on Sundays so we could put into the offering basket. I even had to tithe my birthday money, y’all! haha! But this principle has helped me understand the power and importance of tithing (found in Malachi 3:10 and many other scriptures), and given me such a love for investing into the Kingdom (first!) before I make my own plans. Because of this, I'm able to put God above my finances. Honouring and trusting God with finances is one of the biggest parts of life and the Christian walk. I'm so glad she taught me from a young age, to bring my finances to God.
12. Fasting and prayer - I understood from a young age the power and significance of prayer. What many don’t know is that I’m my mom’s rainbow baby. She lost her first born ( who would have been my older sister) when she was seven months pregnant. When I was born, my mom gave me up to God. And asked that God would raise me, because she knew she fell short in many areas (as we all do). If there is one thing (of many things) that my mom did/ does exceptionally well, is that she prays! I’m a product of fervent prayer. My life is a miracle. And my mom showed me how to pray. She showed me that even though humans aren’t perfect, God steps in through our prayer and submission, and fills the gap. He is sovereign.
If I were to write a list of everything that my has mom taught me, I would write books - many many books, full of lists. Those same books would be rewritten and have volumes, parts and sequels. These are just a few principles that I live by, which my mom established and influenced. I hope it has encouraged you. :)
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