A few weeks ago I felt conflicted with this question. I was drained and had no other choice ( or strength, for that matter) than to be real and vulnerable. One of those "end of your rope" moments.
What happened that week was that I was completely misunderstood in a situation. My heart and my character were taken completely out of context. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand why I would fall victim to such a level of misunderstanding. My heart and intentions were (and are) to do good. That's why I do what I do. My nature is to love, to trust, to protect, to be inclusive, to show understanding and to show grace, all while giving people the benefit of the doubt. It's not hard for me to do so. However, my openness and willingness to constantly position myself to helping and loving others have sometimes left me feeling vulnerable; causing feelings of hurt, betrayal or misunderstanding. I couldn't understand it.
You will learn through my blogs (or if you've ever heard me speak or share my story at an event or gathering) that I go to God for EVERYTHING! He is my Dad and my best friend. So, of course, I was real with Him, because that's what daughters and best friends do. I told Him how I felt and about this huge mountain I had been facing for many years. About huge investments into things that I knew He had called me to, and asked me to step into. I would invest consistency, discipline, diligence, love and time. All of which felt like a waste after they weren't well received. You can imagine how I felt. We've all felt that way. Defeated. Hurt. Discouraged. One moment of good intention turned into long-term discouragement.
"Of course I was real with Him, because that's what daughters and best friends do."
He then took me to this scripture in Galatians 6:9 " Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due time we will reap a harvest."
Allow me to pause for a sec. Because I think we hear the same scriptures so often that we become numb to their context and their effectiveness. Especially when we are troubled. We try to accept them in our own strength and pretend we are okay with just that. But the reality is that things aren't always fine after you've read a scripture. You need to be ministered to. The Holy Spirit enables the scripture to come alive in us if we'd let Him. And to be honest, I was not fine after that. I was still greatly hurt. I was tired.
I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit after He reminded me about the scripture. He said "You can be real with me. How do you feel about what I just reminded you about? Ask Me so that I will show you the way." And just like that, like a word vomit, I blurted out; "But what happens when I grow weary of doing good? It's hard. I'm hurt."
God challenged me first to grow and expand my perspective. Two perspectives to be exact. Firstly, the reason I got hurt by the situation was because I had sought validation from that person. I was no longer doing it because of Him, my insecurities took over and I unknowingly begun to gratify it. I unknowingly expected the person to back me up, and I ignored the Holy Spirit. It stopped being about Him for a moment. I wanted approval, I wanted the person to confirm that I was on the right path and I'm appreciated. And when their response was not what I longed for, my own brokenness and insecurity offended me. The issue was not that the person did not appreciate me, it was that I wanted validation from someone who has no power to validate me. And I had been going through this cycle over and over again for many years. Ouch! This was an eye-opener. It was true, and God, because He is so gracious, wanted me to confront it so that I could overcome it. It was holding me back.
"The issue was not that the person did not appreciate me, it was that I wanted validation from someone who has no power to validate me."
When you have this understanding and perspective, being misunderstood when God calls you no longer bothers you. Because you know Who called you. You know Who's you are and who you are. You are a messenger, and all your fulfillment, affirmation and validation comes from Him. That's where strength comes from. The strength to continue doing good and fighting for love. The strength to be consistent, resilient and joyful in doing good
The second perspective was on the topic of grace. He made me understand that someone else's offence misunderstanding of you is usually a reflection of their heart, not of yours. Sometimes there is an uncomfortability triggered by brokenness. So show grace, regardless of how you feel. If we are called to set the captives free, spread the message of hope, love all unconditionally and more, the chances are that brokenness will be the first to respond. Sickness will respond before we can declare healing. Darkness will exist before we bring light. When you are offended by the brokenness of the ones you were called to set free, everyone remains in bondage. Including you. Yes, because offence does not allow you to live in the fullness of God's best for you.
Think about this for a minute. How many times have you been crippled and stagnant in your life because of fear of being misunderstood? Or giving up because of offence? It took me a long time to get out of that place in my mind and in my heart. I hear so many stories of so many leaders who breakdown because their good intentions were misunderstood. They grow cold and stop doing good. While I understand it, my question is: How do we move on from there?
Remember that Jesus himself was misunderstood while He walked on earth. But we can learn from His consistency. He kept going because He knew the truth. HE WAS TRUTH. May the truth be the reason you continue investing, loving, living and pressing on. Your validation comes from the One who created you. He reminded me of my victories over the years. How I was seeing fruit in areas of my life because I did not give up and I believed His Word. We sometimes do not see the things that we have already harvested. Big or small.
Remember that we can't see a seed when it is in the soil. We can only water it. That's the good- Good is what waters the seed! When we love without receiving or expecting love back. When we show kindness without receiving it, when we keep going when we want to give up. We are watering a seed!
Grow and keep improving in your character and in what you have been called to do. Never allow an attack on your character or on your good intention set you back. You were called to do good. Draw strength from God and may He fill you with abundant joy, hope and love. Do good, for at the right time, you will reap a harvest.